Full Pardon - Issue 13 - July 2010
Why am I here, why am I in this situation, and last but not least why me? We all know we shouldn't question God. But some of us still question our heavenly Father instead of praising God even though we know He does everything for our good and with good reason. Anything that God does He does it for our good, so the devil tries to come to us during a bad situation wanting us to think God doesn't love us. That's exactly why I consider and try to make the best of the situation, and when I say I consider I mean I consider this as a blessing for me to be incarcerated. It has truly been a blessing no matter how long I may be here, because while I've been here I have restored my walk of faith and can put in work. I've had the chance to participate in Bible study with various women of God. So each day that I'm here I'm blessed, because I'm getting closer and closer to God. I'm not here by mistake or by default. I'm only here for a closer walk with God. So when you're in a situation that seems bad take it and turn it into a good situation and consider yourself blessed. I'm not saying God put me in this situation, He placed me here with good reason. So while I'm here I'm going to take advantage of the greatest thing that could have happened to me, when I could have gotten lost in the world. Instead I have another chance to get closer to the God I now live for. So I don't have to wonder anymore I know why I was placed here because my heavenly Father never forgot me when I backslid. He allowed me to be here to draw me back into His wonderful Word. So don't wonder or ask why, just know that God does everything for your good and with good reason and you know God doesn't make any mistakes! Your sister in Christ Jesus.
Tortured for Christ a book by Richard Wurmbrand has truly stirred my soul. Reading some of the stories of the sufferings our fellow believers have to this very day endured was at times too much to imagine. At times I felt nauseous and had to put the book down for a while but I was compelled to read on. Though I hate suffering and do not wish to be subject to needless pain, I am a man. All men relate to "the struggle." It is part of our make-up. It's the reason we love stories and movies about "real" men overcoming adversity. And real life is no different. It awakens a deep desire to be tested-a desire to be tried by fire and emerge approved by our father. Nothing is more fundamental to the "male experience" than the desire to be approved and accepted by a loving father. For those of us who have been deprived of this basic psychological need it often becomes an insatiable and potentially destructive impulse. Left unfulfilled this can produce reckless, dangerous, and even illegal behavior. The Bible does not (nor can I) approve of such behavior, but what are we to do with this unmet drive or need to "act out" to be noticed. With all needs we must turn to Christ the maker and designer of our adventurous heart. When Mr. Wurmbrand speaks of the "Underground Church" and its mission to win the lost-even their oppressors-my heart feels envy and longs for fulfillment of our heavenly Father's purpose. Were we not all born to live radical, dangerous lives with purpose? Sure we were and that was and should forever be a major draw to the life of discipleship. Many churches are "lukewarm" for one reason - "cheap grace". No one ever valued a gift that cost them nothing. Salvation is free to us, but it cost our Savior Jesus Christ all! We are called to live a life of sacrifice, after all what else is there? Suffering gives life meaning, it conforms us to the likeness of our Lord. At some point in this life with Christ we all will be tested, maybe not to death but as our world changes here in America we too may have our chance. As I look around me at the various offenders surrounding me in jail my heart swells with hope. Jesus turned fishermen into fishers of men. Wouldn't it be just like Him to make "disciples of outlaws" or a "drug trafficker" into a "Bible smuggler?" I am convinced God receives great joy in redeeming those our society deems worthless into invaluable resources for the kingdom. For this cause I encourage you brothers make the most of your time in jail. Seek God with all your heart and study His Word daily. Who knows someday we may be called to employ these skills that got us in trouble to sustain the Church in her time of trouble.
I want to let everyone who has ever lost hope to hear me out. God has saved my life so many times. To be here today in the Lake County Jail is a blessing. The way I was living surely I was doomed to death. But our Good Lord Jesus loved me enough to help me start loving myself again and the good people and family in my life! I can start living again. Never give up. Jesus lives for real. Proverbs 15:32 He who ignores discipline despises himself, But whoever heeds correction gains understanding.
Jesus is More than Enough! by Jermaine
In just under two year's time, I had two major nervous breakdowns. The second one brought me to LCJ. It's been 2 ½ years since my arrest and no episode, this puzzles me most. To me it's so simple Jesus has made the difference. It's been Him all along. The road to recovery is tough. I see clearly how far I've come, yet I have no idea how far I must go. The biggest lesson I've learned along the way is forgiveness. I had never forgiven a soul in my life and the bitterness robbed me of joy and became a burden too heavy to bear. The first time I hit this wall I started down this road with Jesus but quickly detoured when I felt better, later to fall harder. This time I have made Jesus my goal and destination. I am bi-polar and God's grace is sufficient for me. My weakness keeps me grounded and dependent upon Christ, keeping my prideful stubborn will in check. This disease is God's grace in my life. Sure it's hard; I have to face constant ups and downs besides the real ones from life. Some days I jump out of bed feeling unbeatable. Other times I feel like giving up and just ending it all. Yet I have resolved in my heart that God is good regardless of how I feel. Besides the involuntary rise and fall of my emotions there are the real issues of my life. I've been in here 2 ½ years and my wife of almost 14 years has moved on without me. I hardly ever see my three children and I have a sick mother I want to see alive and free. So how do I cope? The truth is I cry-ALOT! I'm not strong as some suppose, in fact I've learned to embrace my weakness. So if I appear strong, confident, or well put together understand it's not me, it's Jesus. So there you have it-I am weak, small, insecure, and very sensitive. If God can use me He can and will use anyone. Please don't lower your expectations just redirect them to the Lord Jesus. Don't pity me. Through all this pain I have found purpose. I'm not perfect but I love the man I'm becoming. "In my weakness His strength is made perfect" 2 Corinthians 12:9.
Every morning put on the Armor of Salvation [Ephesians 6:10-18] one piece at a time-from head to toe-reminding yourself of its purpose. First, imagine a beautiful helmet, and picture yourself slipping it over your head, saying, "Lord, I choose to put on the helmet of salvation today in order to protect my mind. I want to think only your thoughts, Lord. I want to thank You that when Satan sends one of his thoughts my way, this helmet of salvation will protect my thinking." Second, picture an immense piece of body armor, and say, "Lord, I choose to put on the breast plate of righteousness to guard my emotions. I want to feel only what You feel. Don't let me react out of my emotions. Let me respond based on Your truth that I know in my heart and mind." Third, strap on the belt of truth, and say, "Lord, I choose to fasten on truth so I can stay centered on Your Word. I want to live in the truth, walk in the truth, and testify to the truth." Fourth, consider your feet, and pray, Lord, I choose to put on the sandals of peace. Wherever I go today, I want to be a peacemaker. I want my footprints to be evidence of the tranquility I carry in the Holy Spirit." Fifth, imagine that giant, door-size Roman shield, and say, "Lord, I choose to take up the shield of faith. I want to thank You that no matter how many fiery arrows the enemy hurls at me today, no matter how many trials or temptations may come, I can stand safely behind the massive protection of faith in You." Finally, wrap your fingers around the Word, and say, "Lord, I choose to lift high the sword of the Spirit, Your Holy Word. Father, thank You for this spiritual weapon that cuts so deeply to bring about convictions and repentance." Amen.
Thanks to those who shared what Jesus Christ is doing in their life. Why not send your testimony to Chaplain Pete for the next issue-keep it to 200-250 words. Share Full Pardon with those on the outside: www.trinityfree.com/fullpardon on the Internet.
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